What is is that makes certain people so attractive? The majority would probably say appearance. We are very externally focused in today’s society, and many of us go to extremes in search of the “perfect” look. We want bigger lips, smaller waists, rounder butt-cheeks, longer lashes, higher cheek-bones, and the list goes on. We never seem to be satisfied, and are always in search of the next miracle product. I used to think like this when I was younger. When people talked about “inner beauty” I genuinely thought that what a lie told to people who were less fortunate in the looks departement. However as I’ve grown older I’ve noticed that there is definitely more to really attractive people than just appearances. I promise there is, I see it all the time. We don’t always realize it because we are so outwardly focused, but it really is all in the mind. How we feel about ourselves reflects on the outside. As a girl/woman in today’s society I know what it feels like to be under the constant pressure to be and look a certain way, believe me I have felt it (and still feel it) too. The thing is that no matter how much you fix the outside, as long as the inside remains the same you will never be happy. It’s the truth and sadly there are too many examples of this out there.
My point is not that we stop caring how we look, stop wearing make-up and pretty clothes. By all means do all that and have fun with it. Make-up and styling is supposed to be fun. A way to express yourself, not a way to hide who you are. However if you want to look an be really attractive you have to start with your mind. This is not easy I know that, to tell the truth it’s probably easier to save for that nose job. The thing is that a nose job is most probably not going to make you happier, nor any more attractive. We often hear about the importance of self-confidence when it comes to being attractive, but it’s not like everyone can just become self-confident over night. “Fake it until you make it” is a line I’ve heard often. The problem with this is that it can at worst only make you look desperate, like you’re trying too hard. We have to stay authentic because other people are smarter than we think and they can most often smell a fake from miles away. I think the clue is to accept both our positive and negative qualities and focus on the positives, play them up. There is something special and very attractive about you, you were born with it. This is what’s going to give you that sex appeal and make you way more attractive to everyone. Just be yourself, but be a couture version of yourself. I’m not claiming to be an expert on this, but I do have some experience and below I will share some tips that has helped me to feel better about myself.
- First of all treat yourself like you would want others to treat you. If you don’t treat yourself well, how can you expect others to? Be understanding and compassionate toward yourself.
- Always prioritize yourself and your happiness, then…
- Forget yourself. There is more interesting stuff in the world than you, your problems and how you look.
- Dance! (like no one is watching)
- Go for a 20+ minute walk everyday.
- Do some form of strength training. It will not only shape your body, but it will also give you a confidence boost as you feel yourself getting stronger.
- Meditate and/or do yoga.
- Watch funny movies.
- Be kind. Always. To others and to yourself.
- Try to not judge. Yourself or others. This takes practice (if not I applaud you, really).
- Try to see and appreciate all the beauty in the world. Beauty is everywhere. In nature, in art, in architecture and also in humans. Surround yourself with beauty. Learn to see it in everything.
- Be like Samantha in that episode of Sex and the City where she thought being around attractive people made her more attractive. You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
- Be curious. Learn new things. Explore. Dream. Discover.